


Before It's Too late

by misha_collins_butt



Series: I Knew I Loved You [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, angry kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-31 23:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20248753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misha_collins_butt/pseuds/misha_collins_butt
Summary: A heated first kiss in the library after Dean almost dies during a hunt and scares the shit out of Cas.





	Before It's Too late

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting to think these are all just the same fic written a bunch of different ways. Whatever ig, people are reading them

Cas slams Dean into the wall with such force that a book flies from the shelf next to them.

"How _dare_ you!" Cas screams. "How dare you leave like that without telling me what you're doing! You could have fucking died!"

"Cas, what the--"

"I could've lost you again! Do you not understand that?! Dean?! Huh?!" He pulls him forward and slams him back again, his grace coursing through his mind like electricity, bulging his muscles.

A look of realisation passes over Dean's face and he examines Cas, lips parting.

"Cas?"

At the sight of watering eyes, Cas loosens his grip on Dean's shirt collar, but doesn't unroll his fist, tugging weakly.

"I could've lost you," he cries, voice hitching with a sob. He hangs his head on Dean's shoulder, closing what little space there was between them and pressing into his human, other hand sliding up around Dean's waist. "I _can't_ lose you again. I can't."

He feels Dean's heart racing, then calming and an uncertain hand spreading up over his back.

"Cas, what is this about?"

Castiel breathes heavily against Dean's chest, back beginning to shiver with tears and hand unfisting from the shirt and shifting flat, pushing into Dean's collarbone. 

He lifts his head, haunted by memories of all the times he didn't tell Dean how much he actually means, to people, to him. How much he needs Dean.

And then his lips are slotting with Dean's, and he's pulling himself as close as physically possible into Dean's body, and Dean doesn't respond for the longest time, but just as Cas is breaking away, Dean finds his marbles and catches Cas's lips, gentle and soft and begging. Pleading, praying, _don't leave me now. Now that I know, you can't ever let go. You can't leave_.

The kiss turns feverish, desperate, tongues dancing and hands twisting in hair and wandering beneath clothing. And Dean is tugging him in by the belt buckle, finger slipping just inside his waistband.

Then that finger is joined by others when Dean begins unbuckling the leather and breathing hard into Cas's mouth. He gets it undone, metal clanging, and his hands plunge up into Cas's shirt, calloused and rough, sliding over his nipples and grabbing his waist with fierce force.

Dean walks Cas backward and shoves him onto the edge of the table, lips somehow only leaving his body for a second before they're dragging down his neck, nipping and sucking, and Dean's pulling Cas's legs up around his hips and hooking his arm around Cas's middle. Cas feels several superficial veins pop and the blood flooding just beneath his skin.

He moans softly, fingers crawling up Dean's back, then scraping back down.

Dean ceases suddenly, and pulls back, chest heaving, eyes angry.

"Do you love me?" his expression is blank like his tone and Cas feels a sudden pang of anxiety, stomach dropping.

"W-what--"

"Do you love me, Castiel."

It's a demand, not a question.

"I--" he gulps and looks away, panic creeping up his throat. He can't talk. What just happened? Dean went from praising his body like a damn god to looking like he wants to punch the angel.

"Are you in love with me?!" He hisses, grabbing Cas's trenchcoat lapel.

"Yes," Cas shakes between gritted teeth, bracing for a slap.

But it gets very quiet for a moment, then Dean is grabbing his jaw and turning him back to face him, and his lips are gracious and ginger on Cas's.

"Why wouldn't you tell me, you prick?" Dean murmurs, lapping at Cas's mouth.

"I thought you would hate me," Cas whispers, face so close to Dean's, their noses cross beside each other and their lips flitter across stubble. "I thought you would be disgusted but I wanted you. I want you. I wanted you to notice. How much I love you, need you."

Dean's forehead rolls against Cas's as he shakes his head slowly. 

"No. Cas, never. I couldn't hate you," Dean whimpers, lips trembling, chest skittering. "I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you again."

"I love you," Cas breathes before he can stop himself from saying it, but Dean responds with a kiss and a short tug at Cas's coat.

"I know," Dean mumbles, hand petting back over Cas's hair. "I know. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Cas smiles, chasing Dean's mouth. "Don't be."

Cas gets lost in Dean's eyes and his lips, and the day fades to night.


End file.
